Beauty from Ashes

Yesterday was a bittersweet day for me. April 2nd was my due date for the baby we lost in the ectopic pregnancy we had in the fall of 2009. While we never knew this baby's gender, we affectionately called "him" Jimmy. So yesterday would have been Jimmy's first birthday. There are so many reasons to be sad and hurting over losing our little Jimmy, but yesterday I was reminded of the beauty God promises to bring from ashes. As I think back over the last 18 months, I can see God's hand in every step of our journey, and there are pieces that I would never trade back. Dan and I grew so much closer during that hurting time, a time before we really had a church home or friends here in Corpus. I'm fairly certain I never would have finished my PhD had we carried little Jimmy full term. Knowing what it took to finish up the last 6-8 months of that process, and now knowing how draining pregnancy is on your body and mind, I certainly wouldn't be finished now. But by the grace of God, here we are, nearly a year after my defense, closer to each other than ever, and awaiting a new miracle - the most beautiful thing to ever arise from ashes. I thank God daily for her, and will do everything that I can to introduce her to the Lover of her soul...the one who promises to raise beauty from ashes, and does.